for one little boy

Whenever I think about having a little boy I can get overwhelmed. It seems like it'd be easy to inadvertently either baby him in an attempt to protect him or to go to the other extreme to try and make him tough and manly. So then I start to think about which men impacted me the most and positively growing up and I'm blessed enough to be able to say my dad is the one that stands out, as well as my Grandpa who passed away several years ago. I, of course, am not saying they were always perfect, only that the overall idea of 'what is a man' that I obtained from their examples are things that I hope we will impart onto our son. A tiny glimpse of the many traits I hope to teach would be humbleness, a tender heart, a sincere interest in other humans, strong morals, a love for music and a zeal for God from my dad. A deep and true love for nature and caring for the earth, a firmness of character, the desire to be a hard worker, strength to voice his own opinions when he feels it's needed :) and the eye for photography from my Grandpa. There is a happy medium rarely found in 'good men' of both gentleness along with the capability of being firm. I count myself smart as well as lucky to have snagged Harold, since he possesses all of these traits as well so hopefully our little boy has a lot in his favor and will turn out with a soft heart as well as a bold spirit. Sheesh. Overwhelming.

Because I am determined to make this little boy have a heart of gold, I'm not afraid to make all the aesthetic choices be 'tough and manly'. ;) I'm not drawn to the poppy, bright and mod boyish styles of things really, neither to the babyish pastels or gender neutral philosophy nor to the make-everything-grey idea. Being this picky makes it hard but I have found a few things around the internet that i thought were cute for a little boy's room, although Harold may or may not agree with some. Hehe.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Do you have any pointers on where to find cute boy things? 

Yours,
Rebecca

a baby

Last Monday we went for our first ultrasound. It was pretty surreal to see a tiny, moving little human and to comprehend that he/she was tiny and moving right there inside of me. I still only rarely feel movements and even then it's hard to discern between baby doing yoga and gas bubbles or whatever else, so it was beyond incredible and assuring to see the baby squirming a lot. Everything was fine and the baby is measuring more along the lines of being due around October 17th instead of the 26th. Of course due dates are pretty relative, so... ya know. But still. I think that 'loss' of almost 10 days helped kick us into 'we better start to get a little bit ready for this little person'. We asked the lady to not tell us the gender but instead to write it down in an envelope so that we could open it later and in someplace other than the cold, sterile office. We waited until Friday (!! I spent a lot of the week shopping, doing laundry, etc. to avoid being tempted by that sealed envelope on the mantel) and Harold took the day off so that we could go on a weekend trip. Friday afternoon we went to a special place and opened the envelope and it was a pretty once-in-a-lifetime moment. :)

 "It's a boy!" :) We'd both sort of felt like it would be so it was almost like a pleasant 'wow' instead of huge shock. Needless to say we're more than excited! We're also pretty lost on any boy names... as well as clothes that we like (NOT that that actually matters in the grand scheme of things, but it's just fun, ya know?). As far as any 'theme' for the baby's room, well, I don't do 'themes' very well, but I want it to be like a miniature man's room. We bought a few vintage things for his room this weekend, but tomorrow I'll post some cute things I've found online. It's a fun challenge which I'm excited to share with you on here!

Yours,
Rebecca

bluebird of happiness

When we got married almost four years ago, among the many sweet and practical gifts we received (all of which were duly appreciated), my favorite gift was one of the ones from my mother. It was a little glass figurine, a bright blue chubby bird. My mother told me 'It's a bluebird of happiness!', which if you don't know is a gift given sometimes as a sort of blessing in marriages. Suddenly this seemingly random but cute gift turned into something I've been sure to carefully wrap in each of our six moves, with more newspaper and care than most of our dishes and other breakables.

With all the moves Harold and I have made it's been a whirlwind of more than wonderful but we also have hit some pretty low lows along the way too. Not in the steadiness of our marriage, but just the struggles that can come with moving a lot and to new places where you don't really know people. Stress, loneliness, adjusting to being married, etc. It may sound silly, but among other things seeing this tiny little bird sitting on a shelf has been a constant reminder for me to take the time to remember the good parts, from both our past and present but also to try and make way for the good parts of our future. I don't believe happiness is the ultimate goal in life, but I do believe we are souls created with the desire of having joyful spirits and enjoying life's beauty. I feel like my soul gets pretty weary of 'trying', but I also know everything is so much better (not read perfect - only the bad or ugly things that will pop up from time to time are so much easier to maneuver if the effort has already been made to strengthen the base) when the time has been taken to work on myself in all the important areas: spiritually, physically, emotionally, educationally, playfully, productivity, creativity, etc. 

Another tidbit we have in the house that gives me that little and much needed jolt of 'oh yeah! life can be great!' is artwork by our friend Matt.

We still haven't found the perfect frame for it, but I already know I want it in our bedroom as a reminder for our marriage. I feel like Harold and I are already close friends who like to laugh and spend most of our time together (to be clear, I think time away with guy/girl times are very beneficial!) but I do think being best friends with your spouse needs to be a healthy priority.

Overall I want to remember that happiness is not something that is going to be achieved one day. My life will never look exactly like that ideal dream I have in my heart or head: Harold and I laughing and talking with our family and friends on our giant 1930s farmhouse front porch while our children play safely with their cousins and friends in our giant English style garden, snacking on watermelon from our back yard with records playing from the living room through the open windows. ;) I may or may not get some or all of those things, probably not all at once, but boy howdy if I do I'd better take the time to say a little prayer of thanks, what a fortunate minute of my life! But more importantly enough, and much harder.. I need to remember to take the time to say that little prayer of thanks the next time Harold and I get into a silly fight, thankful that it's only a silly fight. I need to remember to say that little prayer of thanks when something goes wrong with the house and to be thankful we live in a super nice house that has air conditioning and running water with groceries in it.

I'm painfully aware that I only ever quote Mark Twain or Sophie Scholl but I just can't help that they have the best ones. This one from Sophie Scholl very concisely and prettily says what I just rambled on and on about:

“Isn’t it a riddle . . . and awe-inspiring, that everything is so beautiful? Despite the horror. Lately I’ve noticed something grand and mysterious peering through my sheer joy in all that is beautiful, a sense of its creator . . . Only man can be truly ugly, because he has the free will to estrange himself from this song of praise.
It often seems that he’ll manage to drown out this hymn with his cannon thunder, curses and blasphemy. But during this past spring it has dawned upon me that he won’t be able to do this. And so I want to try and throw myself on the side of the victor.”

Here's to living with a happy and grateful heart!

Yours,
Rebecca

ps.

oh, hi!

It's been awhile, huh? I think the winter blues got the best of me, but now that the temperatures are steadying out to be around the 60s and 70s and the sun has popped back out I'm feeling very rejuvenated! Oh, also... I'm pregnant! That has made me a bit tired and out of it the past several weeks. I'm just over 11 weeks and feeling overwhelmed, calm, excited, terrified, happy, nervous, etc. etc. etc. :) It so happens my sister is pregnant with her third which makes this all even more ridiculously fun and our due dates are only days apart! I'm ready for the second trimester to begin with hopes that my energy will come back, which I'm hopeful that it will. I've already slowly been feeling like getting up and doing a bit more lately, which is perfect timing because the birds are singing and I'm ready to throw on dresses and plant some flowers or something!

Anyway, just wanted to pop in to say 'hello, I'm pregnant, see ya soon!' real quick and share some pictures from the past couple of months.

Harold and I have decided to spend one weekend at home fixing things up, etc. and the next weekend will be dedicated to getting outside, hiking or camping. I'm excited for this seemingly small decision because we usually try to jam pack both sorts of activities into the weekend and somehow nothing ever really gets done thoroughly. This past weekend was 'get out!' weekend. We explored a couple of spots around Nashville that we hadn't been to yet: the Barista Parlor and Mas Tacos - we loved both! We also swung by Jeni's and Bongo Java ;) But in between all that eating and drinking we went on a hike at Percy Warner Park with Hank! Sunday afternoon we went to a different trail that was a little over an hour away that had a few waterfalls and steep hills, perfect for getting that heart rate up... Let's be honest, I'm out of shape. But now I'm out of shape and pregnant, nothing feels more attractive than trying to gracefully step down a steep incline with a belly that is only slightly poking out, just enough that it looks like I maybe ate two too many breakfast tacos that morning. Oh well!

I'm looking forward to setting an appointment where we will be able to hear the heartbeat - hoping the baby is fine and dandy!

Oh, ps. Last night I found a tick on my knee. The nasty little thing's legs were kicking around fast, he so badly wanted to get all he could! I screamed for Harold, who came running. He plucked it out and promptly smashed it with his iphone. I've maybe never been more in love. ;)

Yours,
Rebecca

who's afraid of the big, bad sinkhole?

Just some recent snippets via Instagram. We had a pretty 'good' snow, which was Hank's first - he loved it, lots of romping! The sun has been showing its face more and more! This past weekend we did some exploring, something we haven't done in too long. There are a few schemes up my sleeve now. :)

As a past time I look at houses for sale. It's fun and in a way therapeutic to me in the same way that thrifting can be, it's neat to never know what you might find. The other day I found a 1900s schoolhouse, though. I couldn't stop thinking about it and finally I asked Harold if we could just go take a look-see. He called the realtor and she happened to be in the area so she agreed to stop by and show us around. I can't even really put into words how perfect the place is and how I can't stop thinking about living there.

Across the hall from the above restroom is one that says 'men' on the door. The ceilings were so tall, the windows took up most of the wall space, every room was giant and open and each room had a chalkboard still in it. The kitchen is a big open room with a large island in the middle. The house was definitely in disrepair but it has a mother-in-law apartment that was added in the 80s or 90s that is in fine shape and could be lived in until the repairs were made on the main house. There is a creek in the backyard and most of the land is wooded. The house is on 5.61 acres. It really couldn't be more of my dream house. Except, well....

Except for the big sinkhole that is right next to the house. It's fenced off, but I mean, some day we'll hopefully have children and I don't want to have to ask 'Honey, the kids aren't out playing near the sink hole, are they?' or worry that one day we'll wake up and the sinkhole will have swallowed us up along with our dream home. Apparently sinkholes are common in this part of the country and especially around this particular area. I feel like a real idiot, because I keep going to extremes: Sigh, duh, we can't and shouldn't buy a house that has a sinkhole... and then five seconds later, But. Maybe it wouldn't grow! And we'll have lost a chance at having the perfect house!

The other problem I've lamented to friends and family is that now that we've looked at this house and my eyes and heart have fallen victim to such perfection, how will I ever find another house that would come even close to comparing?

Is this even a pickle that I'm in or is it something that I just need to let go? Should I just be grateful to have had the chance to walk around in such a dreamy house for a few minutes? Or should we hire someone to investigate the sinkhole? Should I be worried that I'm considering the word 'sinkhole' being a part of my every day vocabulary?

Somebody slap some sense into me, please.

Yours,
Rebecca